I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
