I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
