You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
