I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
