ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Drake has all the answers
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
