..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
