Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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