Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
