please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Randomize
