Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
