I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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