I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
