I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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