I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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