Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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