dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
