I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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