i wish there were pregnant emoticons
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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