When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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