Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
