well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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