Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
