Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
