Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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