Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
