I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
