my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Randomize
