Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
