is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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