i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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