Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
soo... how was my night?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
