Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
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So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
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I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
He did a backflip because drugs
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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