Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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