so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
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I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
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I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize