I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize