We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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