i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
