Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
