I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
