Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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