i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
