We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
