can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
