this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
The air taste purple.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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