Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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