I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I think I am morally bankrupt
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
