tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Randomize
