Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
so let's talk penis.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
