just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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