ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
