Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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