btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
