This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
