There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
