I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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