i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
