i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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