so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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